Internal Family Systems Therapy in Squamish and online
What is Internal Family Systems Therapy?
Internal Family Systems (IFS) is about reconnecting to yourself and rebuilding trust in who you are at your core – calm, confident, curious, creative, compassionate. And I'll tell you right off the bat - it's not family therapy, and we're not actually talking about your family. This is about the family or cast of characters inside you. We create internal space so you can 'witness', get to know, and build relationships with the different "parts" of you. Sometimes the different parts of you work together in harmony and feel really helpful. Other times, they can get overly rigid in their roles and create distress or pain:
that protective but painful inner critic
that people-pleasing perfectionist who leads you towards burnout and resentment
that shamed inner child who feels totally overwhelmed
that social media scroller who helps you numb out
that angry part that you're trying to keep 'under control'
Sometimes these parts are in conflict with each other – one says 'do it!!' while another says 'hold on a second…', or chastises and argues with you. I get that it's uncomfortable, and so often the parts that bring us to therapy are saying "We need to GET RID of this troublesome part that is creating so much distress!". I'll let you in on a secret though: it's not about punishing or eliminating any part of you – there are no bad parts. They're all trying to help, and they all have a role. Instead of punishing or shaming, we get to know each part with compassion and appreciation so they can learn to trust you, soften back and let you lead again. We help your parts to set down the burdens they've been carrying from traumatic pasts.
How Does IFS Therapy Actually Work?
IFS was developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz in the 1980s, and while it's been around for a while, it's gained significant traction in recent years – especially as research continues to support its effectiveness for trauma, anxiety, depression, and relationship difficulties.
The model is built on a simple but profound premise: you are not your thoughts, emotions, or behaviours. You have parts that think, feel, and act – but underneath all of them is a Self. Your Self isn't something you need to develop or earn. It's already there. IFS describes Self as having eight core qualities, often called the 8 C's: Calmness, Curiosity, Clarity, Compassion, Confidence, Creativity, Courage, and Connectedness. These aren't personality traits you're born with more or less of – they're qualities that naturally emerge when your parts aren't in the driver's seat.
These concepts aren’t new to IFS or exclusive to IFS. They have deep roots in many of the earliest psychotherapies, and have been adapted by different practices over the decades.
In IFS, we generally work with three types of parts:
Exiles are the younger, wounded parts of you that carry pain, shame, fear, or trauma from earlier in life. They often hold memories and beliefs like I'm not enough, I'm unlovable, or the world isn't safe. Because their pain can feel overwhelming, the system works hard to keep them locked away.
Managers are the proactive protectors – the parts that work hard to keep you functioning and keep the exiles' pain from surfacing. Your inner critic, your perfectionist, your over-achiever, your people-pleaser? Probably managers. They're exhausting to live with, but they genuinely believe they're keeping you safe.
Firefighters are the reactive protectors – they come in fast when an exile's pain breaks through. Scrolling, drinking, bingeing, numbing, raging, dissociating. Again – not "bad" parts. Just parts doing a very hard job in the only way they know how.
When we work together using IFS, we slow down and get curious about who's showing up in any given moment. We build a relationship between your Self and each part. Over time, as your parts feel truly seen and understood, they start to trust that your Self can lead – and they don't have to work so hard anymore.
Benefits of Internal Family Systems Therapy
I love IFS because it's non-pathologizing. We re-frame those troublesome "symptoms" you want to get rid of as parts of you trying to achieve something. Trying to help in the only ways they know how. Bringing compassion and understanding to these can help to ease distress over time, rather than viewing your system as "broken", which often creates more distress.
I also love it because it's truly transformational. We're not just putting a band-aid on a problem – we're exploring the root of it and transforming your relationship to your own experience. These are tools you'll be able to use to cultivate inner and outer relationships for the rest of your life. And once we've 'unburdened' a wounded part of you, you may genuinely notice a new lightness, neutrality or approach to your experience. Equally important is the growing connection that we build to your Self energy – that place at the core of you that was, is, and always will be there. Your witnessing and compassionate presence.
IFS is also remarkably adaptable. It works well alongside other therapeutic approaches, and it doesn't require you to be a certain kind of person, have a certain kind of history, or even fully believe in it at first. Sceptical parts are welcome here too. In fact, if a part of you is sitting there going "this sounds a bit woo" – that's great. We can work with that part. Curiosity is all you need to bring.
Some of the things people commonly work on through IFS include:
Anxiety and chronic worry
Depression and low mood
Trauma and PTSD
Perfectionism and burnout
People-pleasing and boundary difficulties
Low self-worth and shame
Relationship patterns that keep repeating
Big life transitions and identity questions
Is IFS Therapy Evidence-Based?
Yes. IFS is recognised by SAMHSA (the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration) as an evidence-based practice. Research supports its effectiveness for post-traumatic stress, depression, physical health conditions like rheumatoid arthritis, and more. The field of IFS research is growing, and what practitioners have observed clinically for decades is increasingly being supported by formal studies.
It also fits beautifully with what we're learning from neuroscience about trauma and the nervous system. When we're in a triggered state – flooded with emotion, shut down, or somewhere in between – we're operating from protective parts. Self energy corresponds to a regulated nervous system. IFS gives us a language and a map for that internal experience, and the process of building Self-to-part relationships is, in essence, the process of healing.
What Is a "Part"?
This video helps to explain the neurobiology of it for those of you like me who want to understand this more deeply!
What to Expect in an IFS Session
IFS sessions can look a little different from traditional talk therapy. Sometimes we'll slow down mid-conversation and turn attention inward – noticing a sensation in the body, an image, a felt sense of something. Parts often communicate through the body, not just through words and thoughts. Other times, it'll feel more like a regular conversation. There's no one-size-fits-all here, and we'll always move at a pace that feels right for you.
Some sessions are more exploratory – we're getting to know a part, building trust, understanding what it's carrying and what it needs. Others can feel quite significant – moments where a burdened part finally feels heard, releases something it's been holding for years, and something genuinely shifts. Those moments are real, and they can be quietly extraordinary.
You don't need to be "good at therapy" to explore IFS. You just need to show up, and we'll figure it out together.
How IFS Therapy Is Different From Other Trauma Therapies
If you've explored therapy before – or done a deep dive into the trauma healing world – you may have come across approaches like CBT, EMDR, somatic therapy, or mindfulness-based modalities. They're all valuable, and they all have their place. So where does IFS fit, and what makes it distinct?
A lot of traditional therapy approaches work on the problem. CBT, for example, helps you identify and reframe unhelpful thought patterns. That's genuinely useful – but IFS would ask: who is the part doing that thinking, and what is it afraid would happen if it stopped? Rather than challenging or restructuring the content of your thoughts, IFS gets curious about the source of them. We're not trying to talk you out of your inner critic – we're trying to understand what that critic is so worried about, and what it's been protecting you from.
What also sets IFS apart is that it doesn't position any part of you as the enemy. Most therapeutic models, even compassionate ones, implicitly frame certain responses – avoidance, numbing, rage, self-criticism – as symptoms to be reduced or managed. IFS flips that. Those responses are protective strategies that made sense at some point. They deserve curiosity, not shaming. And I’ve often found that when we bring curiosity and acceptance to these parts, they’re relieved. When we tell them to “just stop it”, they dig their heels in.
And then there's the concept of the Self – which is genuinely unique to IFS. Most models don't name or cultivate a stable, witnessing centre in quite the same way. Building a relationship from your Self to your parts isn't just a technique; it's a fundamentally different orientation to your inner life. Over time, that shift in orientation is often what people describe as the most lasting change.
IFS and Somatic Therapy: A Natural Fit
One of the reasons I love working with IFS alongside somatic (body-based) approaches is that they speak the same language – they just come at it from slightly different directions.
Somatic therapy is grounded in the understanding that trauma isn't just stored in memory or thought: it lives in the body. The tension in your shoulders, the tightness in your chest when conflict arises, the way your breath goes shallow when you feel unsafe – these aren't just physical sensations. They're information. Somatic approaches help you slow down and tune into that information, work with the nervous system directly, and support the body in completing responses that got interrupted during overwhelming experiences.
IFS fits with this seamlessly, because parts don't just show up as thoughts or feelings – they show up in the body too. An exile's grief might feel like heaviness in the chest. A manager's anxiety might live in a clenched jaw or a racing heart. A firefighter's urge to shut down might feel like fogginess or a kind of internal going-flat. When we work somatically within IFS, we use those body sensations as doorways – "where do you notice that part in your body? What does it feel like? What shape or quality does it have?" – and follow them inward rather than bypassing them.
This matters especially in trauma work, because parts that carry old wounds are often pre-verbal. They formed before we had language for our experience. Trying to reach them through thought and narrative alone is limited. But the body often knows. Bringing somatic awareness into IFS creates a richer, more complete path to those deeper layers, and it also helps to resource the nervous system along the way, so that healing feels more sustainable and less destabilising.
"Our parts can sometimes be disruptive or harmful, but once they're unburdened, they return to their essential goodness. When we learn to LOVE ALL OUR PARTS, we can learn to love all people — and that will contribute to healing the world..." — Richard Schwartz, Founder of IFS
Want to learn more about IFS? Check out these blogs:
Beyond Anxiety: Using IFS and somatic therapy to be more creative
How to Get the Most Out of Therapy: 7 Key Steps for Deeper Healing
Struggling with shame? Self-compassion can improve self-esteem
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